Inevitably, any parade in the spring will be gray and/or rainy, just like any parade in the summer will be insufferably hot. That’s just how it is – and the true parade fans out there know it but don’t care.
I mean, parades are absolutely ridiculous.
Why ridiculous? You may be wondering. Well let me explain:
A fire truck driving down the street with its sirens blaring is per usual in any city. But slow it down to 3 mph, toss in a few waving firemen, and suddenly its something applause-worthy.
Masses of older people and small children meandering slowly down the street waving at passers-by? Sounds like an event worthy of some serious Mollie-Rage. Oh, but if it’s a parade, then I may go ahead and just wave back!
Fancy cars driving at ridiculously-slow pace? Ha! Nothing special there - I’ll be seeing them later when they’re stuck in traffic on the parkway.
But the way I judge a good parade is by how many of the acts/entrants/participants are not something I can see on my way to work.
A kilted bagpipe-playing marching band? Yes please! (I know people hate bagpipes, but my mama and I are huge fans.) And really any marching band is fun to see. (I may or may not have played a mean French horn back in my day…don’t judge.) Though why is it that the color guard is always sporting the most unflattering uniforms ever??? Can we get Stacy and Clinton in on this?!?!
Irish dancers jigging away on the back of a truck? Stompidy clickety, scissor-kick, stomp! I don’t care who you are, that’s just impressive.
DC Divas – aka Women’s Full Contact Football league? Well that’s a wee bit scary. The tattoos on women make me think that they take the term tackle to a whole new level…but whatev’s - they’re marching in a parade, so I’ll support it!
Fairfax County Police Department motorcycle police driving around in formation? Loud, but cool.
And FYI: DC has its own “official” leprechaun. Yes that’s right. Be afraid.
Oh, and I have concluded that the DC Nationals’ mascots are possibly the scariest ever. I’m just saying…
So whether you celebrate with a parade, or with green beer, hope you have a Happy St. Patrick’s Day!