Friday, May 21, 2010

Another Pool Rant

This has happened before...and unfortunately it will probably happen again...

Is there something in chlorine that messes with swimmer's brains? Particularly in the consideration-for-others cortex? Or perhaps those pool-fumes cause temporary blockage between the nice nodes and the logical lobe?

Don't hate me, hear me out - I'm not just unnecessarily ripping on swimmers here (I have nothing against swimmers as people, Sister1 and Newbie are both swimmers and I like them just fine) no, this ripping is fully deserved. 

Case to be studied: Me, pooling, Wednesday night at they YMCA. 

I hate math (as I'm sure you do too) but humor me with this very simple word problem. 

You arrive at the pool presented with this situation:
There are 2 lanes. 

There are 2 swimmers in one of the lanes.

There are 2 swimmers and 1 pool-runner in the other lane. 

You are the 
6th person.

Two lanes.

Which one do you get in????

If you're an intelligent functioning human being (as I like to think all my readers are), you would get in the lane with only 2 people, right? 
Not the one that already has 3 people? Yep. Me too. Because that just makes sense. 

But that's not how things worked out. I was the 
pool-runner (if you didn't already get that), and when Mr. Pale-Saggy-Moobs-Who-Swims-Down-The-Middle-Of-The-Lane showed up, he decided to get in the lane that already had 3 people in it. True story. W. T. F?

(And to add to this already-annoying situation, the 2 swimmers in the lane with me were doing the butterfly - aka the splashiest stroke ever. Ugh.)

After about 30 minutes, the swimmers left me and Mr. Pale-Saggy-Moobs-Who-Swims-Down-The-Middle-Of-The-Lane to ourselves. And this guy
continued to swim in the middle of the lane. As in, he ran into me multiple times! Like WHAT? Are you freaking kidding me? 

This is how it's supposed to work: Two people in one lane. Each stays on one side. I am not making that up. Those are the rules of common courtesy. 

Maybe this is a territorial, he thinks I don't belong in the pool because I'm 
running and not swimming (which trust me, I totally agree! I would do anything to get out of the water and run the roads!), so he tries to muscle me out of the pool? This is pure speculation, but if that is the case, how rude

I would never I think of doing that to anyone. Any and all swimmers are completely welcome on my track. And I would be courteous and run around them. Not into them. I'm just saying...

And then the man had the nerve to try to make small-talk with me when he finished his "workout." Um, excuse me sir, but I just spent the last 40 minutes restraining myself from punching you in the face. We are not friends. 

And that is all I have to say about that.